“Living like an artist allows you to unearth infinite new worlds in the tiniest drop of water... You look beyond what’s apparent, you push dusty old stories about who you are and what you like out of the way, you deconstruct the obvious and investigate the mysterious. It’s a morally agnostic position, ultimately: You stop viewing every action through the black-and-white lens of judgment and enter the scientist’s mind, peering through the microscope at vast legions of microbial demons or squinting through the telescope at a seemingly infinite sky, filthy with colorful celestial wonders. You open your mind, your heart, and your eyes as wide as they’ll go in order to take in the world in all of its ragged, wretched glory.” How To Live Like An Artist, The Cut.
I have secretly dreamt of being an artist. I carried a voice inside me that told me I had something to express, but who knew what? My doubts led me to design school, which in my mind, felt like the safer sustainable route. I spent most of my life as a designer, not exactly an artist. Though utilitarian, yet still creative, problem-solving with beauty and taste. To me, safer than exposing my unconscious, which most real artists do.
Truth be told, design for me didn’t entirely feel natural, a means to an end. I explored different mediums: fashion design, hotel design, furniture design, graphic design, and everything you could name, I’ve likely taken a stab at it. I tried many traditional artists’ mediums too, paint, illustration, and watercolor, but it seemed it was also not a fit.
Then why did I continue to have this feeling I kept wondering, why am I not an artist yet? The more digging and exploring I did I came to this conclusion. I have been investigating each question wholeheartedly, acting on my instinct, wandering into dark parts of myself, testing, learning, and growing. I came to the conclusion that the medium maybe wasn’t a canvas or something to technically create with shapes and colors, but the exploration and navigation of life itself.
What have you explored? How did you find your artistic “voice”? Leave in the comments below.